


Experiment

by isurahikari



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Multi, WOO HOO, sad stuff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-02
Updated: 2015-06-02
Packaged: 2018-04-02 11:19:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,144
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4058035
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/isurahikari/pseuds/isurahikari
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everyone loves Rose. Why would Amethyst even want to compete with that? She couldn't, even if she wanted.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Experiment

She hated this. She hated herself. Stupid, stupid, stupid, a freaky little kindergarten experiment. The first person to make her feel _special_ , and what a surprise, she actually wasn't. Not special enough to keep him, anyway. Should've seen this coming, right? Everyone left her. Everyone left in the end.

Greg was so  _exciting_. He didn't treat her like a baby or a monster! They watched their favorite show together and laughed and gradually Amethyst migrated to his lap, and he stroked her hair, which she was growing out. It was  _nice_. He was  _nice_. Finally, she felt loved and accepted. So what if every time she came out to see him Rose was there?

So what.

Oh god, how it hurt. Everyone loved Rose. How could you not? Kind, sweet, caring, totally capable of destroying something, but always chose not to. Beautiful. Amethyst used to love climbing up her and playing in her long hair, pretending she was in a pink jungle. Every day, Greg spent less and less time with her, and more and more time with Rose. But it was all good! Greg most definitely loved her, she could feel it! Nothing to worry about.

"Listen Amethyst..." He started, voice low. A hand through his mane of hair. "I think we should stop hanging out so much." 

Heart stopping. Ice suddenly freezing over her. A stone dropping to her stomach. "W-what, you don't wanna hang with the gems anymore?" 

"No. No, I love the gems. I mean...we should stop hanging out together. Alone." He looked down at his sandaled feet, and breath stopped in her throat.

"You don't...want me?" She squeaked. How pathetic was this?  _Never_ let your guard down Amethyst!

"Amethyst...I never did. Not like  _that_." Greg said sadly, "I mean, if you wanna be friends-"

She ran. Ground flew under her feet as she ran to the ocean, the opposite side from their temple, flung herself into the sand, and clutched at her heart. Why did this  _hurt_ so bad? it was coming from the start! Should've seen it coming, never should have gotten so attached! 

 _No one loved her. No one wanted her around._ Everyone just  _pretended_ she was needed on the team, or even that it was necessary that she exist! Why couldn't she just go away? There was nowhere else she could have gone. No one wanted a kindergarten freak on the Homeworld. That wasn't her home. No one wanted her here either. The Kindergarten was basically dead, she couldn't go back and live there. She'd have to stay, and watch herself be part of a 'family' that didn't want her around. 

No one was surprised when Greg and Rose started holding hands. Not even Amethyst. Especially not Amethyst. 

 _Snap_. 

Amethyst whirled around, frantically rubbing at her tears. No one got to see her cry about this, not now, not ever. She fiercely glared at the tip of a ballet flat behind a bush. 

"What do you want, Pearl?" She was glad her voice was rough and scratchy. It made her sound angry. Pearl was just another gem that hated Amethyst, even though Amethyst would have loved her forever, given the chance. Just another star-eyed sap head over heels for Rose.

Nothing. A few more steps on the pale sand, and then Pearl sat down beside her. Amethyst scowled and crossed her arms. 

"Today's the anniversary." Pearl said quietly. 

"Anniversary of what?" She snapped. "Steven's birthday isn't for another couple of months." 

"You know what day it is, Amethyst." Pearl murmured. "Don't pretend. It took me a couple of years to find out where you were going, but I figured we could mourn together." She gave her a weak smile. 

"Why would you be moping about the first day Rose and Greg started dating?" Amethyst mumbled, staring out to the sea. The beach she cried at when she got pushed away from him. 

"For the same reason you come here. You loved him, I loved her." 

She bristled. "I didn't love him! He was just a buddy."

"And what is he now?" 

"...A buddy."

"Oh, Amethyst." Pearl sighed. "It's okay, you don't have to. Not today. I know you don't think I understand, and I probably don't know exactly how you felt, or feel, but...I'm not an idiot. I saw how you looked at him back then." 

"You never saw how I looked at you." She grumbled. "I'm nothing compared to Rose. Not now, not ever." 

"I'm nothing compared to Greg." Pearl whispered, leaning her head against Amethyst's shoulder. "I'm too stuck up. Too much of a perfectionist. I'm so much of a perfectionist that I wish I wasn't, so I'd be a better gem." 

"You are perfect though. You do everything right, and I just mess everything up. I'm useless. No one wants me around, and I haven't said anything because no one cares." She swallowed hard. "It makes me so angry that I have to go out and break stuff. Wrestle or scream, anything to shut me up so you guys don't get on my case." 

Pause. "I care. I don't know how exactly to say I care, but I do." 

"Everyone says that, but no one means it." Amethyst sighed. "I should give up on being cared about. I wasn't supposed to exist. I'm just some labrat. A Kindergarten slug." 

Pearl's head jolted off her shoulder. "Amethyst! Don't tell me you believe that!" 

"'We kept Amethyst!'" She mocked. "Rose probably took me as a pet, right? A pawn for a chess game. I'm not equal to you guys." 

"Yes, you are." 

She snorted. "How? When have I ever helped by myself, besides forming Opal?" 

Silence. "That's what I thought."

"No, no, Amethyst, it's not like that!" Pearl protested. She took Amethyst's hand and held it to her tiny lips. "You're _important_ because you're you, not because of what you do on missions, or at home, or with Steven. You don't need reasons. We could be broken together, you know. That's what makes Opal a good team, when we don't split apart!" 

Amethyst cracked a smile. "Opal is pretty cool." 

"Pretty cool?! She's graceful and delicate, and a  _great_ shot!" 

"That's all you, though. Not me." She said quietly. 

"Are you kidding?! She can sing like an angel, and we both know that's not me. She's got all your fun, and your spunk and wit. 50% you, Amethyst! 50% you." She repeated softer the second time. "Who cares about them now? Yes, we'll always love Rose, and we'll always love Greg, when he's not being an idiot, but none of anything was the reason you two weren't soulmates. It's time to heal, Amethyst. For both of us." 

Amethyst made no sound for a moment, then took Pearl's hand, loving the look of surprise on her face. 

"Yeah. Time to heal, Pearl." 


End file.
